Sharing an Afternoon

I often wonder, even speak of it out loud, how did life get to where it is? How did we all come to be here together, making family as we do?

It is World Cup time, while that means something to everyone, to Paulo it means a lot. Brazilian soccer, national teams or the Flamengo Club, bring to him some of the same passion that watching and celebrating University of Kentucky basketball brings to me. A season of expectation, of looking forward to celebration and cheering on our team!

Charlie's seasons of expectation come more frequently than a sports club's season of play. His passions are stirred when a favorite cartoon, favorite song, or activity are anticipated. Today he was eager with anticipation about the prospect of being able to get a milkshake after school. Tuesday is our "drive-thru" day (it used to be "cheeseburger day" but we have expanded the options). As we left his preschool class and headed down the hall of the school, he clearly shared, with anticipatory glee, "Mom, can we get a milkshake today?" We stopped and chatted with others and then made our way to the truck. As we approached the truck, with the milkshake coming ever closer to a reality he asked, "is it ok if I have my own today, and we don't share?"

We have been working on sharing things lately. Sharing is hard work. It is good to share, sharing is noble. But today, "is it ok if I don't?"

I understand sometimes not wanting to share. Sharing milkshakes are usually easy to share, other things that come in and out of a parent' s day, not so easy. How do I share values that I sometimes fail at modeling? How do I keep being able to ask for what you need and want from becoming self-centeredness? Does my son see me sharing of my self or just of my stuff? It amazed me how quickly the thoughts came today.

As Charlie was blissfully awaiting our arrival at the drive-thru window of Chik-Fil-A, singing along to the Imagination Movers CD, he paused and asked, "Mom, how was your day today?" Don't really know if that is the first time he has ever asked me about my day so directly, but today, in the midst of parental angst about giving my son permission not to share, it was a welcome relief to hear that he could clearly express an interest in another person. He had a sense of the other enough to pause and ask.

Today, from my 4-year old son, I learned that eager anticipation of the small graces of the day may permit me the freedom to express my wants more freely. Freedom to be who I am created to be - that sounds like something I say to people in class each day, but have a hard time hearing for myself.

It was a great ride home playing "freeze dance" in the car as we made our way through rush hour traffic. It was a great time of sharing!