Our Life Together

The First day....

2011-08-22T13:26:00.000-05:00

Today was the first day of Kindergarten for my growing young man. When we got in the truck I asked him if he was excited, he said "yes, a little bit." When I asked if he was nervous he responded, "no, I am not." Yes, well, of course I ask the question because that is what I was feeling. In reality Charlie was not feeling too good, he has been fighting a bug of some sort for the past few days, and woke up this morning, with no fever, but with a runny nose and a real desire to just go back to bed.

He is a very social guy, so when we finally got up and moving around, strapped on the backpack, he was ready for the new adventure. It was as if he had been there all his life when he marched into his new classroom. The teacher said, "Good morning, Charlie, do you remember where your seat is?" His seat was the place where he had found his name on Friday at the meet the teacher event. Before I could unload the final items from the school supply list he was at his table, already coloring. He showed me his work and then was ready for me to leave. When I came back in for one last picture, he barely looked up from what he was doing.

No doubt about it, my sometimes shy little one is not at all afraid of new adventures.

As I walked out of the school and headed back to the car, I couldn't stop tears that were beginning to fall. It wasn't an all out crying jag, just a slow and steady roll of tears, first from one eye and then from the other. I brushed them away quickly, imagining the eyes of the 5th and 6th graders and their parents being amused and bewildered by my sentimentality. Then I was a little embarassed before dismissing the imagined judgement of elementary school children.

But, this what today is about - stepping out, sending out my little one, who I have tried to protect from mean people, judgemental people, people who take pleasure in other's pain. Today it felt like I was changing my stance in the world. No longer can I "protect" him from "the world" now begins the long phase of standing along side him as we learn together how to navigate and negotiate the world and all of its relationships - positive and negative.

Protection is an illusion I think -- I hope I don't sound too cynical. My dad was a great protector of his three girls. I have many stories of his standing between us (well me) and harm as I was making my way through elementary and high school years. One time when I was in elementary school we were at a High School football game and there were two men sitting behind my father, my sisters and I, who were using a lot of foul language. After a few moments of that language swirling around us, my dad stood up and turned around and with his baritone voice said, "if you are going to keep talking like that you are going to need to move." I don't know if they moved, but I didn't hear them cursing anymore. His protection became my image of God, the relational dynamic that taught me to trust.

In Charlie's life there have been some things I couldn't protect him from, things that happened before we knew each other - today is a reminder that there will be things I won't be able to protect him from in the days ahead. There are a lot of things I will be able to protect him from, and together with his dad, we will be at that task for as long as we draw breath I suppose.

For today however, it is the first day of kindergarten. My brave, trusting boy strode into his classroom ready to make new friends and go to the cafeteria and choose his own lunch!

Reverent Legs

2010-06-30T18:37:00.003-05:00

Today I was a part of a conversation about a person whose legs were no longer working. They had been cut off from the signals from the brain that give legs life and movement. The legs of this very young person were left appearing lifeless after a bullet struck and shattered the spinal cord that delivers the messages to move, to run, to lift a small body from a chair. The muscles stopped growing and the lack of movement kept the blood from circulating in ways that give life to human systems. Now, three years later, the surgery was scheduled to remove these limbs that were designed to propel the body, because in their state of being "cut off" from the communication center, they were becoming a threat to the whole of the being.

This conversation went many places today and at different times impacted me in different ways. At one point the concept of reverence I have been reading about lately was awakened. A book, An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor, has a chapter on reverence - to attend more to life - the small and the large portions of life. In the book she says, "The practice of paying attention is as simple as looking twice at people and things you might just as easily ignore. To see takes time, like having a friend takes time. ...paying attention requires no equipment, no special clothes, no greens fees or personal trainers...All you need is a body on this earth, willing to notice where it is..."

As the conversation today moved from one sacred place to another, as conversations do in a CPE group, I found myself thinking of the little legs that I revere each night. Imagining the loss of the mother of this grown child whose legs were about to be removed, was profound.

Today I was reminded of how my hands "pay attention" to legs, Charlie's legs, each night after bath time. As we are attending to our nightly ritual - bath, lotion, brush teeth, prayers, snuggles and sleep - each night the lotion goes over legs that are a full foot longer than they were three years ago, legs that move, run, are flanked by strong and flexible muscles. My hands are like physical prayers of thanks for strength, growth, life. As they move over the legs that used to be so small they couldn't play "running games" through the halls of this home, they couldn't have dreamed that one day they would seeing how far they could jump off the altar of the church sanctuary.

I am reminded that everyday from then until now has been a movement toward growth. Our nightly ritual is a sacred time, like many others in our relationship - a place of reverence. This is a time when we attend to one another with a clear sense that reverence is healing, life giving. These moments are a reminder that there is a God and I am not it.

Reverence, paying attention, seeing - is the genesis of gratitude.

Oily Feathers

2010-06-22T09:59:00.004-05:00

This morning I heard a story on the radio about how the Dawn detergent they are using to clean the oil spill oil off the feathers of birds actually contains some petroleum products. That little addition of petroleum derivatives is what makes Dawn detergent so potent against cleaning grease - in the kitchen and in the Gulf of Mexico. The story reminded me of several things, one of which was a friend from an old therapy group who spent her summers rescuing baby birds. I wondered if her hands were dirty with oil these days - she has a special connection with birds.

The spokesperson or scientist, the expert in the piece, said something like - it takes a little bit of petroleum to clean the oil. That comment made me think of many things, one of which was that regularly recurring image of my husband out in the garage cleaning greasy car parts with gasoline. The other was how true that is, the idea that there is a tension that must be kept in balance in life, between too much or too little of both the good and the bad.

I was thinking about love and fear. Sometimes it takes a little fear - of loss, separation, change - in a relationship to help us realize how much we love someone. It is the passionate depth of love that makes loss something we fear.

Yesterday Charlie's school had the "McGruff, Crime Dog" organization there, providing safety kits for kids. A little kit that has identification cards, vital information, a picture, fingerprints - even a kit for storing DNA and hair samples of your child. "In the event that it should ever be needed." What!?!

The lady showed me different levels of "packages" I could buy and all that was offered with each as I was leaving the school. As I drove over to the office (which is about 3 minutes away) my mind went back and forth about whether or not such a thing was a gimmick, a waste of money or a necessity of life in 2010. Sure it "plays" on my fear. The idea of needing to find Charlie if he were lost also strums on my love strings. I cannot imagine a worse experience in the world.

My parents would probably say that I deserve a little of that fear. As a kid, I was notorious for getting "lost". Much like now, I tend to go places without telling people where I am going - because it seems like a good idea at the time. My mom will tell you of stories of finding one of my moccasins on the retaining wall next to the dam near my childhood home, or of the day when there were flash floods all over the county and I didn't come home from school.

I get it now!

The interplay is strange and exciting, in my opinion, that is present between passionate love and "fear of lostness". The touch of fear reminded me of the depth of love. The depth of love reminded me of my "fear of lost".

How intriguing that a little bit of oil in a detergent cleans oil and restores life. How intriguing that that a little bit of fear reinvigorates awareness of love.

Sharing an Afternoon

2010-06-15T19:09:00.004-05:00

I often wonder, even speak of it out loud, how did life get to where it is? How did we all come to be here together, making family as we do?

It is World Cup time, while that means something to everyone, to Paulo it means a lot. Brazilian soccer, national teams or the Flamengo Club, bring to him some of the same passion that watching and celebrating University of Kentucky basketball brings to me. A season of expectation, of looking forward to celebration and cheering on our team!

Charlie's seasons of expectation come more frequently than a sports club's season of play. His passions are stirred when a favorite cartoon, favorite song, or activity are anticipated. Today he was eager with anticipation about the prospect of being able to get a milkshake after school. Tuesday is our "drive-thru" day (it used to be "cheeseburger day" but we have expanded the options). As we left his preschool class and headed down the hall of the school, he clearly shared, with anticipatory glee, "Mom, can we get a milkshake today?" We stopped and chatted with others and then made our way to the truck. As we approached the truck, with the milkshake coming ever closer to a reality he asked, "is it ok if I have my own today, and we don't share?"

We have been working on sharing things lately. Sharing is hard work. It is good to share, sharing is noble. But today, "is it ok if I don't?"

I understand sometimes not wanting to share. Sharing milkshakes are usually easy to share, other things that come in and out of a parent' s day, not so easy. How do I share values that I sometimes fail at modeling? How do I keep being able to ask for what you need and want from becoming self-centeredness? Does my son see me sharing of my self or just of my stuff? It amazed me how quickly the thoughts came today.

As Charlie was blissfully awaiting our arrival at the drive-thru window of Chik-Fil-A, singing along to the Imagination Movers CD, he paused and asked, "Mom, how was your day today?" Don't really know if that is the first time he has ever asked me about my day so directly, but today, in the midst of parental angst about giving my son permission not to share, it was a welcome relief to hear that he could clearly express an interest in another person. He had a sense of the other enough to pause and ask.

Today, from my 4-year old son, I learned that eager anticipation of the small graces of the day may permit me the freedom to express my wants more freely. Freedom to be who I am created to be - that sounds like something I say to people in class each day, but have a hard time hearing for myself.

It was a great ride home playing "freeze dance" in the car as we made our way through rush hour traffic. It was a great time of sharing!

It is 2009

2009-01-22T10:57:00.003-05:00

Christmas came and it was so much fun. Charlie had picked out one thing he wanted in a toy magazine at Mimi's house before Thanksgiving and that was all he asked Santa for up until the day Christmas arrived. Santa delivered! The "piston stop" is a little work bench full of tools for working on cars, decorated with all his favorite friends from the movie "Cars". Charlie is particularly fond of the drill.
All the family was at our house this year for Christmas dinner and exchanging gifts it was a beautiful day. Charlie enjoyed M&M's for breakfast lunch and supper and ran and laughed and played until his energy was completely spent. He asks every week when Christmas is coming again.
From October through the New Year is a time of pretty consistent celebrations around our house now, beginning with Charlie's birthday on the 23rd. This year we took an in-town vacation of two nights and three days at Disney to celebrate Charlie's 3rd birthday. It was great fun, really loved Animal Kingdom and went to see the Lion King show three times in one day.
Then Halloween arrives, Charlie was Simba and the flow of candy really kicked it up a notch. Thanksgiving was a good time at Aunt Suzy's house with lots of room to run and play and then the preparations for Christmas. It is hard to get back to work and regular routine.
We started January with Charlie's 3 year old physical. All is well, the doctor is impressed with Charlie's general health, his growth - he is now 36 1/2 inches tall and a nice healthy 30 lbs. With the exception of an ear infection all is well at the doctor's office. Potty training is complete, for the daytime hours, and the night time training is on the way. Charlie continues to do well in school and make friends. He loves to play with children and is a very happy and energetic child.
We turned the three day passes to Disney from the birthday celebration into Florida resident seasonal passes so we can take a day and go from time to time throughout the year. It is a good deal for Florida residents and especially so for people who live here in Orlando.
The year is off to a good start and we are looking forward to all of the growth and fun that a three year old brings to the house. He is constantly finding new ways to play and enjoy everything, right now being especially fond of rocks and sticks. When we are out, each stop requires the collection of at least one of each to bring along as a souvenier.

It has been a long time

2008-11-11T20:13:00.005-05:00

Time seems to fly by and weeks turn to months so quickly. I suppose it is a good thing that life is so full that there seems little time to sit and think about it much, but a moment of sharing and reflection is always a good thing.

Just to review some of the "big rocks" since my last entry on this blog, I would begin in June I suppose. Maui, my loving companion of 8 years, had to be put to sleep on June 30th. It was an immensely sad day. He began having some trouble urinating about a week prior and when we got to the vet found out he had a cluster of kidney stones blocking the pathway. Surgery was an option, a very expensive option, following about $800 worth of diagnostic work. It was just too much. I went after a second opinion with a Vet who is a member of my Rotary club, he was concurred on the diagnosis and the treatment, but at a much more reasonable rate. (For any Orlando people, McAbee Veterinary Clinic on Goldenrod at Aloma -- - great people!!) So, Maui was scheduled for surgery. We could swing hundreds, as opposed to thousands, for the surgery - and so we were going forward. Not too long after dropping Maui off at the office for the surgery that would be later in the afternoon I got a call from Dr. Scott who told me they were doing some presurgical ultrasounds and found some disturbing other problems. I was with Maui when they put him to sleep, Mom was there as well. I cried like never before. Maui and I had been companions longer than me and anyone else in my adult life. The people at the clinic were SO great, and they had just met us. Such good and kind people took care of me in my grief. They were so respectful, even sent a card with everyone's signature on it a couple of week's later. We had Maui cremated and his current resting spot is in a lovely doggy tin, as we decide where his final resting space will be. Paulo and I still cry when we talk about Maui, and even now as I write about that day.

I wondered how I would explain death to Charlie...but I did as I have learned to do, I just told him, "Maui died today and he won't be home anymore." It took several days to repeat it as we would come home and Maui wouldn't meet us at the door. Charlie asks when Maui is coming home and we review it again from time to time. I don't know what reminds Charlie of Maui from time to time, but he thinks of him and mentions him. Just the other day he said, "I need to get Maui's leash and go get him to bring him home." We miss our very dear friend!

In August my youngest brother had a baby boy, Brady Clel Reynolds was born. He is as cute and sweet as he can be. Rodger is finishing his commitment to the Air Force and will be moving with his wife and new son to Orlando soon. We are all very happy that they will be so close.

Charlie really enjoyed Halloween this year. He had vague memories of getting lots of candy last year. He decided he wanted to be a lion, Simba, from the Lion King - one of his favorite movies for Halloween. This was perfect as Halloween came just one week following his birthday celebration, which was a weekend at Disney. He loved every moment of being at Disney. We went to the Lion King stage show twice while at the Animal Kingdom. He got to see all of his favorites and ride in race cars and everything! It was a great 3rd birthday celebration.

We are now looking forward to Christmas. Charlie found a toy catalog at his Mimi's house over the weekend and now he carries it everywhere. There are couple of items in there he wants and so we have been talking about how he would need to ask Santa for them. So, now, each morning he wakes up and asks me, "Is today Christmas?" We have added Santa to our nightly prayer routine! :)

Here is Charlie's latest school pics.....he is still the cutest guy ever!! In my opinion.

School Pictures

2008-06-23T18:14:00.003-05:00

Charlie has been attending day school near my work since September of last year. He is doing great with his classes and all of his friends. He learns something new every day, in English and Spanish. :)

Lately I think the two-year old class has been working on "listen with your ears!" - surely an important lesson for a group of very healthy, curious two-year old boys and girls. Listening, the life-long learning lesson begins in the 2B classroom, right along with potty training and the lesson titled "we don't hit our friends."

By the way, I think Charlie is doing great in "we don't hit our friends" and still has some work to do in the "listen with your ears" lesson. He is, much to mama's delight, also doing great in his potty training. He has gone through the last couple of weeks with none, or maybe only a couple of accidents at school or in the evening at home. I never knew how proud I could be that my son was wearing the same underwear when I pick him up that I put on him in the morning. But I find myself perfectly delighted when I arrive and that is the case. It is happening almost every day now. Wow!! three weeks ago, I thought these days would never happen.

Here are a couple of Charlie's school photos from last month.

He is getting so big, no longer a little baby, but becoming a little boy. He knows it too!

And Pa Pai Makes Three

2008-05-20T10:58:00.007-05:00

It has been an eventful couple of months, with the celebration of one year of Charlie's arrival at home, Easter, mother's day and a wedding. Ramona and Paulo, long time best buddy of both Mom and Charlie, got married just after Charlie's first anniversary at home. It was a small ceremony on a Friday afternoon, with a surprisingly large number of family in attendance. :)

We are a very happy family. Paulo is Brasilian and so Charlie is calling him "papai" the Brasilian word for Daddy. We are working on Portuguese as well, learning greetings and so forth. Charlie got to meet some of his Brasilian cousins via webcam a few nights ago and had a great time.

This past weekend Charlie got to spend part of an afternoon with other friends from Ethiopia as we gathered for a first, I think, social time together with other families who have children from Ethiopia. We met at Lake Eola here in Orlando and enjoyed playing and sharing snacks as well as having a blast at the playground.

Charlie is expecting a new cousin in August, as Uncle Rodger and Aunt Melissa will be welcoming their first son. We have already included Brady into our nightly prayers and Charlie is still trying to figure out the part about Brady being in Aunt Melissa's tummy.

Here is a funny little story: while driving home from work and school the other afternoon Mom was asking Charlie about which of his friends he played with at school. "Did you play with Sophia? Was Liliana there? How about Lincoln, did you have fun together today?" After answering each one the Mom asked, "who else did you play with today?" Charlie replied, "I played with Jesus." "What did you and Jesus play today, Charlie?" "We played with blocks and with the trucks." Mom is still smiling about these after school stories. :)

Here are some pics from the picnic and playground and working around the house.

pics and thoughts

2008-04-15T20:13:00.004-05:00

Just a few pictures of my growing little boy. He has transitioned into another class at school, based on his age and developmental progress. He is growing and thriving. We got home tonight and watched "Cars" the movie. An all time favorite. You wouldn't know it at other times in the day that he could sit and pay attention to something for as long as more than half of a movie. Well, for this he will. Loves Lightening McQueen.

Charlie's favorite things to do are climb, run and hang upside down. In addition to that he is still in love with cars and all things with wheels, and has recently been very much enjoying Bob the Builder. He is two and a half - - no doubt about it.

ANNIVERSARIES

2008-04-05T13:15:00.005-05:00

This is the season of anniversaries for Charlie and I. March 27th marks one year since our meeting and April 7th, one year of our arriving home. If you look back through the blog entries, you will see about that meeting, and about the days since. They have been busy and wonderful. In this year that has passed, Charlie has grown in many ways - he is walking, running, climbing, jumping. He couldn't walk at this time last year. He has moved from the 20th percentile on the growth chart to the 55th percentile. Shot up three inches and gained almost 20 pounds. He is working on potty training, although it is not his favorite bit of learning. He has learned English and is working on Spanish, knows shapes and colors in both languages. This morning he was singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "The Wheels on the Bus" as we were in the car running Saturday morning errands.

On April 9th, we will have our final post-placement report/visit with the social worker, the immigration paperwork is sent and received for his naturalization process.

A year ago I didn't know how love could fill my heart. Each night Charlie and I have a bit of a ritual we go through at bedtime. We sit on the end of his bed and have prayer time. At the end of prayer time I tell him how much I love him and wish him sweet dreams for the night. Last night when I told him how much I love him, he put his nose against mine and said, "I love you too, mama." My heart was so full - I immediately began to cry. How did I get so lucky!?!

Our first time away!

2008-03-16T17:07:00.002-05:00

This week marked a developmental marker in my and Charlie's relationship, we spent two nights apart!

I had a meeting related to work in Jekyll Island, GA which spanned over a couple of days. So, we made arrangements for Charlie to stay at Suzy's (my sister) house in Ocala. If you have read this blog since it's beginning you know that Suzy accompanied me to Ethiopia when Charlie and I met. BTW: the anniversary of our meeting is happening on March 27th. What a fabulous year!

Charlie did fine at Suzy's house, he enjoyed being with Suzy and with Lewis and Rachel. I however, called every few hours to see how things were going. I know Suzy must have moaned when she saw my number on the caller i.d., but she was gracious and kind each time. Charlie enjoyed taking Rachel and Lewis to the school bus and picking them up each day, as well as "helping" Suzy around the house with whatever project she was working on. The first night he found a container with several cars and trucks in it...that kept his attention as well, I hear.

The trip away was nice, but I felt like part of me was missing and was easily drawn to tears when I would talk about Charlie and how much I was missing him while I was there trying to pay attention to the business and speakers.

We are very, very fortunate to be near family who are willing to help out with Charlie, when things like this come up for work. He loves being with family and enjoyed getting back home.

You might expect that I would tell you about the wonderful reunion we had when I arrived in Ocala to pick him up, well he did come running when Suzy told him that Mama was here, he smiled at me as he ran right over to Paulo - his best buddy!

It felt good to have him and Maui back home, everyone where they belong, last night.

I never really understood what Mom meant when we were all home, as we were older near the holidays primarily. She would always say how good it feels to be home with everyone there and have all the doors locked. I know that feeling now. All is right with the world when your little family is safe and together!

This is Charlie exploring on a Saturday afternoon at

Barnes and Nobles, he loves to read!

This is Charlie getting ready for some bird hunting with his uncle Charles someday....

This and That

2008-01-31T16:07:00.000-05:00

Charlie and I had our 9-month post placement review last night. All went well. Charlie was happy to show off his new room, well, show off in general I should say. We had been to the doctor a couple of weeks earlier and all is well. His head is growing, his body is growing and all things seem to be functioning well. There is nothing he is not doing well at. Don't I sound like a bragging mother!?!

Charlie continues to be the most curious, loving, helpful, loud, rough little two year old boy. He is sleeping well in his room. The past week or so he has been eating everything in sight and sleeping on average about 11 hours a night. This is in addition to his nap. I think he is gathering energy for a little growth spurt. His feet have grown, so last weekend we went out and got a couple of pairs of new shoes. He managed to split right through the middle of a mud puddle on the walk into church on Sunday, breaking in his new shoes just like a little boy should. He was soaked from the knees down when we got into the church.

He has almost outgrown all of the clothes from the showers that were celebrated before he came home. While this has implications for the household budget (as does the increased appetite) it is reason to celebrate because he is a 2-year-old wearing 24 month size clothes (for the most part). That is reassuring to his American momma.

We were driving home yesterday and I was telling him that we were going to have a visitor and she was going to talk to Momma and want to watch him play. After the talk it was sort of quiet in the car and I said, "I love you Charlie." He responded in a bit of a whisper, "I know that!" I could hardly drive. :)

At school they sing a song from time to time - "good morning, Charlie. good morning, Charlie. good morning, Charlie. I'm so happy that you're here." So I have been singing that to Charlie in the morning as we are going to school or getting dressed or whenever. He sings it back - "good morning, momma....so happy that you're here." Today I thought maybe I will sing that to him for the rest of his life. I may not always literally sing it - but I sure hope he always knows it.

Here are some pictures of the new room and some other things.

Happy Holidays

2008-01-14T09:13:00.000-05:00

The holiday season has taken its toll on my blogging as you can see. Months have passed since my last update. In those months Charlie and I have celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and rung in a new year.

Thanksgiving was a good time filled with family and food up in Ocala at Aunt Suzy's house. Charlie always loves it when he can be with all of his cousins and play so hard he can't hardly breath. As we left Ocala for the drive back to Orlando Charlie was asleep in the car before we could get to I-75. The running and playing were plenty to be thankful for as they represented the life of a happy family growing together.

So, then it was on to Christmas. For Momma it was so great to get to "teach" about Christmas. I found myself pointing out all of the Christmas lights and commenting on how beautiful they are and how they twinkle and all of the colors. It has been quite a few years since I have paid that much attention to the Christmas lights and I began to appreciate again how beautiful they were.

The first encounter with Santa, well it was sort of spur of the moment. Santa and Mrs. Claus were being escorted through Winter Park by the Winter Park Police, one evening in December to get the final lists from all of the boys and girls. We just happened upon their sleigh as it pulled into Brookshire Elementary. So, we dropped in so we could let Santa know where Charlie was living this year and what he would like for Christmas. There was quite a line, but the elves were nice. As Charlie got on Santa's lap, well it was all a little overwhleming. So, Momma stood nearby and held Charlie as Mrs. Claus helped ease his tears and good ol Santa whipped out some candy. Candy made it much better. Charlie held onto Momma throughout the visit, but was able to tell Santa that he would like to have a tricycle, some toys and some more candy for Christmas. Momma's annual Christmas cards barely got sent out before the day arrived, but CVS and online ordering made for some pretty cute deliveries to family and friends.

Santa came through like a real trooper delivering all the goodies on Christmas morning. A bright red tricycle, toy trucks and airplanes, some musical instruments, books and even a "Cars" DVD - which was a big hit. Charlie slowly explored each new toy and then found the stocking full of candy. WoW! Santa is a great guy!

Christmas evening we all went over to Uncle Johnny's house to share gifts with family and of course, eat. More playing and more presents! Christmas is great!

The play was pretty intense and soon, some accomodations had to be made just to make the experience more comfortable - - we are in Florida after all!

Charlie moved into his new room, his big boy bed, on New Year' s Eve. With little exception he has slept there quite soundly through the night ever since. He is proud in the morning to come marching into Mama's room and announce "I wake up Mama! Breakfast time!"

Charlie is beginning to consider potty training. It is a goal for 2008 at his school, and while he is a little unsure about whether or not it is something he really wants to do, it is clear he is thinking about it. Last Saturday he had a very good experience on the potty at home. It hasn't translated into anything consistent, but it is a good start. Charlie is counting to 10 in English and Spanish and knows his days of the week. He is a a bright and growing little guy.

At his 2 year old physical in January he has grown from the 4th percentile in the American growth chart, where he was in March 2007 to the 25th percentile. That is impressive growth for a 9 month period. Momma is very excited about that!

Each night before bed we have a bath, read a book (over and over) or several books, and have Charlie and Momma play time - a time full of kisses and giggles. We say our prayers and get all tucked in. Charlie is a healthy and happy little guy and he and Momma couldn't be happier.

January is our 9-month review with the homestudy social worker, and then before we know it we will have been a family for a full year. What on earth did we do without each other? We are looking forward to continuing to learn and grow together and just last week found out that there are other families like ours in and around Orlando and are looking forward to knowing more of them as well. Momma is beginning to get the hang of things and when we get the house put back together after having it painted, she may be more able to be consistent in her posting. We will see!

October in Texas and Halloween

2007-11-17T09:10:00.000-05:00

We got back from Texas, where Charlie met some good friends of momma's, the Ethiopia team at Gladney, some cousins he didn't see before, his great-great aunt Pat. He spent quality time with Mimi and Papaw, got a cowboy hat and boots and sat on a tractor - a new favorite - for the very first time! Texas was a "yahoo good time."

This is Charlie with Momma and the whole Ethiopia team...they had a birthday party for him. It was so nice and thoughtful, so emotional to be there for Momma. What would we do without Gladney and their great Ethiopia team?

These are the people who helped us become a family...it was so great to meet them.

This is Charlie and some of his Texas cousins...Jessica, Steven, David and Sean. William was not feeling good the night we were there, so he was resting in bed. Charlie loved being with all the boys and with Jessica. He had a great time...there are lots of toys in a house full of children, what a great place to live.

Here we are with Mom and Dad too. I really enjoyed getting to see Billy and Beth and their family. It was good to be in Texas.

Texas was a great time!

We got back to Florida just in time for Halloween...the church was having a "trunk or treat" celebration of Halloween. Charlie didn't really know what was going on when I picked him up from school, dressed him in his tiger outfit and drew on his face. But when he got there and found out that if he walked around and looked cute people would give him candy. Well, Charlie really likes Halloween...he was a real cutie in the parking lot too!

Just after Halloween Charlie was transitioned into the 2 year old room at his school. There he is learning all of his colors and numbers and beginning to consider potty training as a way of life. He is none too fascinated by the potty. Everytime Momma asks him about going to the potty, his immediate response is, "bye-bye potty, no potty, bye-bye potty!"

It has been a busy few weeks and now Thanksgiving is on the way...SO much to be thankful for this year, as in each year...but for now it is time to rest.

It is Birthday Party Time

2007-10-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

Well, it is October, more than a month since my last entry. It seems like a very busy month, but I can't really describe all that has happened. Things at work have been hectic and Charlie is growing and talking keeping momma quite busy. When Charlie goes to bed at about 8:00pm momma usually collapses in a heap on the couch and is asleep by 9:00. Doesn't make for a very productive evening. Perhaps I should start drinking coffee later in the day - but then that would make 5:30am come SO early. :)

We have been very excited about how well the University of Kentucky Wildcat football team has been doing this season. Here is Charlie celebrating the win over LSU (former #1 in the nation).

Well, we weren't actually celebrating football this past Sunday, but there was even better reason to celebrate as the family all gathered to celebrate Charlie's second birthday.

Charlie's birthday, which is on the 23rd, was celebrated with family at home on Sunday afternoon the 21st. Everyone was there as Charlie awakened from his nap. He came out of the bedroom shocked and overwhelmed by all that awaited him. Cousins, aunts, uncles, Paulo and Mimi, all there to greet him with song. Cars and things with wheels was the theme, as this is one of Charlie's favorite interests. He can spot a bulldozer or a school bus blocks away when we are out driving around Orlando. Motorcycles and concrete trucks are very favorite sites as well.

Here are some pictures from the good times!

On the 23rd, we will be flying to Dallas, TX - because Mom has a business meeting there - with Mimi and Papaw going as nannies. The day after we arrive we will be going to the Gladney offices to meet some of the people we pray for each night, who helped us become a family. Momma is looking forward to meeting Mary and all of the others who have assisted and continue to assist us in this journey.

Some fun times

2007-09-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

With Mom near the water at St. Petersburg!

It was on this day that Charlie took his first dip in the ocean, the Gulf of Mexico to be exact. He went right in with no fear, flopped out of Mom's arms and started floating, like he was in the pool or in the bathtub.

So far there is not a method of getting wet that Charlie doesn't love!

Even getting caught in the afternoon rains of Central Florida give him a charge. He loves getting drenched on the jog from the truck to the door. It is the greatest!!

Charlie started in his new "school" at the end of August, the beginning of September. It is so close to Mom's work so it is really easy for her to come and pick him up for appointments or whatever. Plus the teachers are great. Of course, they all think he is the cutest and I guess the smartest - well at least that is what they tell me!

Here are some photos from the rides around town together!! Dig those teeth - he almost has a whole mouth full!!

The latest visit to the doctor shows that since April, Charlie has grown 3 inches, and gained 6.5 pounds. He is becoming quite the man about town now!!

His English is coming along great, he practices saying almost everything he hears. He even uses what he has heard appropriately in a sentence. The other day when his cousin Ava was climbing up on a chair at Mimi's house, Charlie used his most stern voice, raised his hand with finger pointing to the sky "Get Down, Get Down" he commanded. It sounded a lot like what he had heard his mother say to Maui (the dog) earlier that day when Maui was about to jump up on Charlie's bed. {I didn't have my finger in the air, however.} :)

August

2007-08-31T22:48:00.000-05:00

Well, August has just about ended. It began with our 3-month post placement visit from the homestudy agent. That went well. She is such a friendly person and always makes me feel like things are going well, even with whatever concerns I might have. She got here a little early for the appointment and Charlie wowed her with all his developmental milestones. He followed instructions, fed himself yogurt, climbed on the couch, everything to assure her that his development is going along well. You would have thought we had studied for that test! I did find out that she is also doing a homestudy for one of my students who is preparing to adopt - also from Ethiopia, but through a different agency. In a later discussion with that student, I found out his agency is telling he and his wife that the wait from completion of dossier to referral is 9-12 months. Wow! I don't think I would have survived that wait.

Charlie is indeed doing well, in spite of some health concerns. He has had a rattling in his chest for a while, but no fever and no sign of anything else, except a runny nose. I assumed it was regular "day care" sniffles. And, perhaps that is what it was. But, a couple of weeks ago I took him to the pediatrician because he had started coughing as well - but still no fever - and she discovered an ear infection, along with bronchitis. So he got some antibiotics and cough syrup to help clear his lungs. Now two weeks later, all is clear, the cough is gone and so has the rattle.

Ever since I have known Charlie he has had what looked like 'baby acne' on his forehead. In recent weeks the little "zits" were turning up in different places on his face and one on his neck. They wouldn't clear or clean out. So while we were at the pediatrician for the cough we got those little bumps checked out too. They are an indication of a pretty common virus and are therefore considered "warts". I couldn't remember or pronounce the medical name for it, but the insurance paid for some pretty expensive cream that is clearing it up pretty well. It is a little irritating to the little guy's skin, but it is clearing away the bumps. The pediatrician told me it is pretty common for children, particularly those who are around other children a lot. So, when I left the pediatricians office last week I had like 6 prescriptions, for a little boy who is running and playing and feeling good. It is a lot of medicine for a little guy who looked like the picture of health in the waiting room!

Charlie started at a new daycare - a Children's Academy. It is very close to my work, actually associated with my work, and has a video program set up so that I can watch what is happening in his room or on the playground via live streaming video on the internet. So, from time to time while I am at work I can log on and see what they are playing, or story time, or nap time (which is so sweet!) or Charlie and his class playing on the playground. Talk about constant energy - - you should have a look at a room of 6 almost 2 year olds...it is perpetual motion! He is learning new words, colors and numbers. Charlie's brain works just fine and all the time. He is doing so great! Mimi and all the aunts and uncles have been given the log in for the video so they are all checking in on him during the day. It is great, when I can't tune in, there is usually always someone there to give me an update.

This past weekend we went to Clearwater to meet some new friends and take Charlie's first dip in the ocean - the Gulf of Mexico. It was good to get out of town and meet new people. The beach was a lot of fun. Charlie marched right into the surf, holding my finger. When the first wave came in and splashed over his head, he smiled and kept right on going. He loved being in the water, playing and splashing around. I am amazed at how easy water sport is for him. He dove into the ocean with the same ease he dives into the bathtub! I am happy for that and know that his lack of fear means he has to be watched even closer, as he will get in over his head literally and figuratively easily and without hesitation. Before the beach and meeting friends we stopped at a local Steak and Shake for lunch - it was a first for Charlie as well. He loved the fries and the milkshake...I loved the pictures!

Wow! July is almost over

2007-07-22T21:01:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that it is July 22 already. It seems like just yesterday since I last wrote and here we are nearly a month later.

Charlie is learning more words every day, when he finishes off a cup of milk or all the food on his plate he announces "all done!" We are working on "excuse me please", but for now it is "all done!"

It occurred to me this morning when I picked Charlie up from the church nursery that almost every Sunday when I pick him up he climbs off a little motorcycle riding toy that is there. What occurred to me was, that I should get him a riding toy for home. He loves anything motorized that moves, even if it is motorized by his two busy feet.

Speaking of motorized things, this morning before church we were watching the European Grand Prix. Charlie and I were practicing saying the driver's names. Have I mentioned Charlie's love of cars? Well, I guess it is motorcycles too since this afternoon he was fussing around before naptime and as I rolled through the cable to find Radio Disney on the cable a motorcycle race went by and he became absolutely silent. One of the riders rounded a hairpin curve and Charlie threw up his arms and yelled "Oh yeah!".

Just so you know, the rule at my house growing up whenever any of us mentioned having a motorcycle was (I know my sisters and brothers will hear Dad's voice in this) "you will not have a motorcycle as long as you live under my roof and are my responsibility." That pretty much settled our conversation. I am practicing that line for when Charlie wants to have those conversations! Besides that family history, having worked around the hospital for as many years as I have, where people are known to call people who ride those racing motorcycles "organ donors" when they are passed by them on the road, I believe we are going to be sticking to foot and pedal power for a long time around here. We can go over to Daytona or something to take care of Charlie's anticipated "need for speed!"

In August I am planning for Charlie to move into his own room. So far he has been sleeping ina bed next to mine and we have been sharing a room. But, he is super comfortable all over the house now and sleeps well by himself everynight. He used to wake up at least once a week and want in bed with me, but he is not doing that anymore. I sort of miss it...

I want him to grow in his comfort and autonomy - I am testing a theory that giving him as much autonomy as he can have will help make the "terrible twos" less painful for both of us. I am sure it has been tried...we will see. He has plenty of autonomy, so there are already many things that he can continue to rebel against!

He is all the mischevious little boy - and I love that about him. He is also quite the little snuggle bunny - I love that too! I just love everything about him, especially his laugh.

Our next move toward big boyhood is potty training...I wish there were a button for that. I think he will be easy enough to get the hang of it. If I knew how to get him started. He already, just after a "poo" comes to me and says, "momma biper". We got a great little potty at the shower from a friend. So, we will see how that develops as well.

The First Week of July

2007-07-06T19:22:00.000-05:00

A lot happened in June and as the month wrapped up and we have now moved into the first week of July the things that were "out there" are moving toward resolution.

Our week began with Monday, July 2, Closing Day! The closing was set for 10am - I finished signing all of the paperwork and handing over the substantial cashier's checks at around 1:30 p.m. Needless to say we were running a little behind schedule. But, it was all done and just as I left the sellers were coming in to do their part. Lots of signing as well, but they leave with a check instead of handing one over. There was a glitch with some of their paperwork and therefore I made a dash to the title company's office on Tuesday afternoon for a few more signatures to finish it all off. Done, I am now a homeowner. A good friend of mine asked me if I was going to have a party. I had been thinking so much about projects to tackle after the signing, a party didn't even cross my mind. It is reason to celebrate however, just feels like a lot of responsibility right now. I may plan a party for early fall, when the humidity decreases some around here and there are a few things done to the house that I am looking forward to getting completed.

There was however, a party of sorts here on the 4th of July. The familial troops came in and we got a few projects done...new doorknobs/locks, returned Johnny and Aurea's washer and dryer, demolished the tile on the walls in the kitchen, {..I hated that - REALLY - I like the torn up drywall better than that tile}, got the back garage cleaned out {my truck is full of things for the landfill, that is our Saturday morning trip}. I had gone to Home Depot to pick out a new washer and dryer over the weekend and it was delivered on Thursday. After the work, we went next door to Johnny's house and grilled hot dogs and swam to cool off and have some fun. The night was topped off with fireworks out front. Charlie liked them, but by then it was about 9pm and he had a big day so he was more than ready for bed. We missed the "grand finale" and headed inside for some sleep.

All of that is great, a lot of fun and a lot of work. But the big news of the week came today. Charlie became a 'human flotation device'! About 6 weeks ago Charlie started taking a drowning prevention course. He learns to float if he falls in the water, and to swim to the side of the pool and pull himself up. He would go there every morning before day care and learn his skills, with Mimi and Uncle Johnny and Aunt Aurea who were there with Ava - Charlie and Ava are learning to be flotation devices together. :)

Today was Charlie's graduation day. Yesterday he went into the water fully dressed, with shoes and a jacket, and he did GREAT! Today he did all his skills: floating, falling in and flipping face up and floating, being dropped in on his head and flipping and floating, swimming to the side when facing the side and when the side is behind him, swimming until he gets tired and then floating and then swimming some more. It is amazing how much he learned in 6 weeks. He began crying through the whole thing, but today he was just having fun, doing his thing. His instructor had to talk to him to keep him from wanting to play the whole time. Here are some pictures of his last day.

This is Charlie swimming to the edge. See the kicking!!

This is Charlie at the edge, after the swim, with his instructor making sure the hands are secure for holding him above the water

Charlie, "The Human Flotation Device"

After the final lesson he got a shirt "I don't need a flotation device, I am One!" in celebration of all he learned.

This class is courtesy of Mimi and Papaw who know how much Ava and Charlie love the pool at Ava's house and out of love that the water would never hurt either of them. Mimi was there for graduation as she has been at each lesson, while Momma headed off to work most days. It is reassuring to her and to all of us that Charlie and Ava will know the skills to keep their heads above water and stay alive if there should ever be an accident at the pool. We could never be too safe. It is kind of depressing, but the week that Charlie started his "Safe Start" class at the YMCA we had our first pediatric accidental drowning in the hospital. The child was about 3 and while he had been resuscitated, he had been deprived of oxygen so long that he had only reflex reactions to stimuli.

So, yeah, it was hard for me to see the instructor pick Charlie up and drop him head first in the water, but it is worth it to know that he can kick and float and get to something safe in seconds. I would rather be uncomfortable than anything else! Thanks Mimi and Papaw for the safe start!!

It is official in the US

2007-06-23T14:47:00.000-05:00

The courts of the US have recognized the Ethiopian adoption, as of Wednesday June 20th. That's it - Charlie and I are legally family on two continents now. That is more than most people get and so it is pretty secure. Birt, my brother the attorney, while not officially "representing" me in the case was able to assist me and the process went well. The judge agreed to sign the agreement making the adoption legal in the US, changing his name to Charles Solomon Abenet Reynolds and ordering the Florida Dept. of Vital Statistics to issue a birth certificate stating his legal name, his date of birth, and me - as his mother. It made me get a little shiver when I heard him say what his order would be, and makes me emotional even now when I write this. I know when I get a copy of that birth certificate it is going to be a day of crying when the mail arrives.

I wasn't sure how the courts handled this mostly paperwork arrangement, and since I was representing myself I didn't know if there would be "testimony", etc. So, Birt informed me that usually children aren't allowed in the courtroom and if they come to the courthouse they are usually kept in a daycare on another floor in the courthouse building. So, I was planning to just go down with my papers and then do the thing and go back to work. Turns out though, adoption day is a particularly happy day at the courthouse and so the judge told Birt that he wanted Charlie there and if there wasn't a camera in the courtroom he wasn't going to grant the petition. So it was Party Time!!

Here are some pics from the adoption day:

This is the judge telling me about what it means that Charlie is legally my son, checking to make sure I knew where he was born and inquiring about whether or not the adoption agency was familiar with the Hague Conventions. He also shared some about his experience of forming his family through adoption. The big moment for me was when he asked if I understood that from this moment Charlie was mine, as if he came from my body, flesh of my flesh - bone of my bone. I was happy to acknowledge and accept that he is, he couldn't be more my son.

This is Charlie giving the judge the "high five" after the proceedings.

The happy family with Judge Evans.

The whole party!

Paulo, Mom and Charlie, Uncle Birt, Uncle Johnny, Mimi, with Judge Evans in the back.

Uncle Johnny came over from the hospital where Aunt Aurea was preparing for cousin William's arrival - he got here Thursday night.

After the court some of us went out for a late lunch, Charlie's first time on the Lynx Buses in downtown Orlando. He enjoys doing new things and this was no different. But, after missing his regular nap time and all of the excitement of going to court, he was pretty tired and fell asleep quickly when we got back to the car and the safety of the car seat.

Good Morning!

2007-05-31T02:36:00.000-05:00

It is 3:30 a.m., I have been up for about an hour. Just couldn't sleep tonight. Maybe it is life needing to be processed, or some other general anxiety. Maybe I just needed some quiet time in my house to reflect on the first six months of 2007. Even Maui (the dog) is sleeping soundly - I don't hear him snoring, which is unusual.

This is it in a nutshell: January - waiting for a referral, wondering will my child be a girl or a boy; accept new position at work - "Director" means more responsibility for everything that happens in our department, learning what it means to be in "leadership" instead of "following in my own way", responsible for budgets and long-term planning...exciting, stressful, overwhelming somewhat, but could/can be fun; February - referral comes. I am having a boy!! Planning and shopping, worry and dreams begin. Have a little outpatient surgery procedure. March - trip to meet Charlie; try to get things arranged at work so that I can take a month away from regular office hours when we get home. Stressful weeks of planning. April - home with Charlie, love that. There is the first visit to the doctor - shots and the chase of the parasites begins. April had its moments, that is for sure. Decide it is time to stop being a renter and begin a conversation with the property management company for the house I have been renting for almost two years about buying. May - Charlie begins daycare, it is a good daycare and he likes it. Working Mom guilt sets in. Charlie gets his "green card" - it isn't green. Owners of the house being ridiculous, begin looking at other properties. Owner of house become less ridiculous - expect to hear if the contract is accepted by noon tomorrow and meet with mortgage broker (well, today actually). At work a move of office space that has been anticipated for August or September gets moved up to June. Everyone is anxious about what it all "means" and are looking to me for answers and "leadership" - when on occasion I am daydreaming about building a shaved ice stand on a beach in Kauai. Living out the rest of my days in flip-flops (slippers as they say in Hawaii). :) We have a closing date on the contract (if it is accepted) for July 2.

A particular to Florida twist in planning a house purchase, is that hurricane season starts June 1 (throughNovember). Since property insurance policies aren't written for a block of time following a storm, the insurance has to be written and paid for with an effective date at the date of closing or if a storm blows through (say in the next 30 days or so) there will be no closing because there will be no insurance. I have inherited opinions about insurance companies, but no need to go into them here.

Anyway, that whole property insurance conversation had me thinking about hurricanes and how to make sure Charlie feels safe when the tropical winds start to blow and there is no powerand nothing but peanut butter, bottled water and bagels!

I had an image this morning as I have been reflecting on these almost 6 months, one of my favorite images of God from the OT, where God is described as a mother hen gathering her chicks under her wings. The OT is referencing Israel as the chicks. It is just such a comforting "snuggled in" image. It has been a veryemotionally, intellectually, financially, physically, worldview challenging beginning to 2007. But, even though I probably should be "snuggled in" to my bed at this time and am not, I continue to feel very "snuggled in" and safe in the midst of all these changes.

Charlie likes to "snuggle in" under my wings so to speak, in the morning. We have a moment or two of just us time, when it feels like our bodies were made to be connected to each other, each morning - a little more time usually on Saturday and Sunday. He chooses to "snuggle in" to my breast at other times. There are very few occasions when you will see me holding Charlie that he doesn't have his hand down the front of my shirt. Usually it is just resting there on the top of my chest, but it is like a reflex. "Mom is holding me, gotta get my hand to that warm spot just under her shirt." Most of the time I am not even conscious of it, but there are times, like when he is patting on my chest when I am talking to someone for example, that I am conscious of it and think "How would Jackie O (that icon of grace) have handled it if little John were doing this while she was talking to the curator of the National Museum?"

I recall how quickly life can change, and how wonderfully. When (I am being a positive thinker) this whole first time home purchase happens, Charlie and I will have a Home! A home that is ours, that we can paint whatever color we want to, plant a play gym in the backyard, color on the driveway if we want to. It will be one more safe place, one more place to snuggle and make history together. I get excited about that. So, when the storms blow, we will gather safely in an interior room with no windows and get "snuggled in" for protection. Just two chicks (metaphorically) under wing.

June 27 is the court date for the US recognition of Ethiopian adoption. There are actually two petitions to be addressed at this hearing - the recognition of the adoption and the legal name change. The Ethiopian courts really did a number on Charlie's name for his new birth certificate. The normal procedure would be to have his Ethiopian name (Abenet) with my last name. But somehow my middle name and last name got transposed so his legal name has my middle name as his last name. Not OK! In another more amusing twist that transposed name (last name, middle name) is listed as his "father" of American Nationality, which is a real twist since I don't have a husband and since the made up name is that of my last and middle name so that if that person actually existed, he would surely have changed his name before reaching this stage in his life. :) So, grace abounds and Charlie will get his full legal name on the 27th - Charles Solomon Abenet Reynolds. That will be a great afternoon. Many thanks to my lawyer brother, Birt, for his assistance in facilitating this so speedily.

What's Been Going On

2007-05-23T11:45:00.000-05:00

Well, in a word, everything.

Life is so busy these days, but so great. Charlie is doing well, he is walking everywhere although he really likes for Mom to carry him sometimes. She moves a little faster - getting him from there to wherever in more of a hurry, which is always a good thing. Charlie has started at daycare. That is going pretty well. He is battling the sniffles and other things that kids new to day care get, but he is also learning more English words, which he loves to practice. He came home yesterday telling me about his eyes, ears, and mouth. He already knew about his nose. He is saying "shoes", and "flower" and practices other words and names all the time. We are starting to get a bit of a routine, I pick him up after work, go to the grocery or other short errands and then home for dinner, a bath, Mom and Charlie playtime, and then bedtime by about 8:30 p.m.

I did have to learn about being conscious of how long my after work errands run. When I was "single Ramona" I would just do whatever after work and either find something to eat while I was out or eat when I got home, no matter what time it was. Maybe the second day of our "routine" my errands went long and it was 7:00 p.m. before I got home. When I sat Charlie in his chair to begin to get his dinner ready, he was screaming and putting his fingers in his mouth as if to say, "Put some food in here woman!" Yeah, I got the schedule now.

Charlie is so curious and bright. He has his selfish moments, but generally is very good natured and agreeable. He is exhibiting some 2-year old stubborness, which I consider a strength of his character personally. My mom says that is an inherited trait from me, his mom. I like to call it persistance or determination.

This week Charlie got a camoflauge cap from his Great Aunt Mary and Great Uncle Charles. Uncle Charles is a "hunter-gatherer" man and I guess he is equipping Charlie for some great hunting trips. We will have to squeeze in a trip to the Bass Pro Shop to find some matching "gear" and get that trip scheduled - not in the immediate future - but I guess every little guy needs a hunting trip to the frozen north of Northern Indiana at some point in their life.

Here are some pictures of my little toddler, exploring and enjoying his life.

More Photos from the Portrait Studio

2007-05-05T21:26:00.000-05:00

Here are some more of the photos from the portrait studio. Today was a banner day for Charlie! He went in the swimming pool for the first time. It was still a little cold, but he enjoyed it. I suspected he would, because he LOVES the bathtub so the cool water caught him off guard. We went to Ocala to Suzy's house and he enjoyed being with his cousins Lewis and Rachel. The pool was fun, even if it was kind of cool.

Yesterday he took about two steps unaided at Mimi and Papaw's house. Today he walked across Suzy's living room, and then the kitchen area. He was as proud of himself as we all were of him. His style of walking is a little Frankenstein-ish with his arms out in front of him and his legs a little stiff. But, he figured out how to change direction and keep moving. He is doing great! When he gets his balance all worked out he will be completely moving on his own. Then...the next milestone...potty training!!

In the meantime, here are more of his great portraits, including one with his cousin Ava.

Picture Galley

2007-05-04T22:00:00.000-05:00

Some favorite pictures of mine. Some from Ethiopia trip, others from around the house.

Charlie's first women's luncheon at church. He found a fellow friend, Isaac.

This is Holli in Ethiopia at a traditional restaurant

I think she looks really pretty in this pic.

The Portrait Studio

2007-05-04T21:38:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we went to the local portrait studio, (Charlie, Ava, Aurea and I) to make some photos of each of the kids and some of them together. It actually took two days to get the photos, but that is about timing childhood tiredness/crankiness/etc.

Anyway, the "together" shots are for Mimi (Mom) for mother's day. Of course, she already has them, but that is irrelevant.

Since then we have been working on getting electronic versions of the portraits for immediate sharing...We might finally be on to something. Here is one of Charlie. Hopefully there will be more to follow...you will want that because they are beautiful.

First Day Back to Work

2007-04-30T21:58:00.000-05:00

In a few days it will be one month since we got home from Ethiopia. Over the weekend we celebrated our first month as son and mom. We are doing pretty well with each other. Charlie is noticeably more comfortable in our home and is laughing and talking more easily. He is also beginning to challenge me on some things and I consider that a sign of trust, so it is fine with me. I am beginning to believe I might actually work out as a mom after all. Even though I asked more than one person over the weekend "Do you think he is happy?" OK, there is still some insecurity, I can admit that.

Charlie is learning how to "work" me and I am beginning to recognize when I am being "worked". I remember my home study worker's education about recognizing when behavior is "adoption related" and when it is "developmental" or in other words a "kid thing". Well, Charlie is all the 18-month old boy. Testing, trying, charming and entertaining. He can make his eyes dance and squirrel up the cutest face. Yeah, I know he is "working" me, but after looking at that face, sometimes I just don't care. If he knew English better he could talk me out of money or the keys to the truck with that face. :)

So, I mentioned before about Charlie's visit to the pediatrician. Well here is the update. The bloodwork (which was extensive) all came back positively - good results - everything is functioning as it should be and there is nothing there that shouldn't be there. We did the lab visit one evening last week. I didn't rush into that after the whole doctor's office thing. I had enough of needles for a little while and needed to get my courage back up.

So a week later to the lab we went, with a friend of mine for moral support. Charlie did great! Of course he was crying, but he was holding perfectly still so that the lab technicians could get all 5 vials of blood. (I told you it was extensive). Since I was sure that Charlie would soon be fainting from blood loss, my friend suggested we go for ice-cream. Ice-cream really cures lots of ills. Anyway,we stopped by Baskin-Robbins. Charlie enjoyed all of his fudge swirl and part of my friend's scoop. I didn't cry at the lab, and Charlie quickly stopped when the blood-sucking needle was removed from his arm. [I really should use more hospital friendly language, especially since I work in a hospital, but the perspective from my end on these things is really hard]

If you have met Charlie you probably have seen his "good-bye". It is real sweet and besides him saying "bye-bye" in the sweetest voice ever, his hand is always waving as if he is screwing in a light bulb. It is a real favorite among all who have met him. Anyway, as we left the lab the technicians were kindly saying good-bye and apologizing to Charlie for the pain they inflicted. He looked over at them and said, "BYE" and swatted his hand as if he was chasing a fly. It was not the sweet farewell that others get. But, by the time everyone's ice-cream was gone, the bandage was off his arm and the whole affair was forgotten. The results came back great - so all is well.

I also mentioned in the entry about the doctor's office that a stool sample was involved. That one didn't come back quite as "clean" (no pun intended) but the little bugs that came home in Charlie's intestines have been and are almost completely exterminated. He is eating just about everything that is offered to him and there are muscles beginning to develop in his little legs and arms. His morning Pedia-Sure is helping with that. Man! he loves that stuff. His cheeks are chubbing up and well, his belly is as round as a little ball after a meal.

All of that muscle development is helping in his growth toward walking on his own. So my little man is growing and developing great.

He is beginning to practice his English a little [peez = please, MIMI = Mimi (my mom), papa = papaw (my dad); juzee = Suzy (my sister); MAU = Maui (the dog) .........and my personal favorite...Mama = ME!].

One name he says very clearly is his cousin Ava's, my 10 month old niece. We live next door to one another and my brother and his wife have agreed to take care of Charlie during my first month back to work. Ava, Charlie's favorite playmate, loves to hug and touch on Charlie. She is pretty fascinated by the texture of his hair.

Here is a pic of Charlie and Ava getting ready for one of their "strolls" around the neighborhood for some morning sun.

Here they are at nap time...

Charlie has had a hair cut since these pictures. His Uncle Johnny took him for a "big boy haircut" and he is now sporting a sort of Michael Jordan hairdo.

So, to the title of this entry. Today was the first full day back to work for me. Well, technically it would have been a full day if we hadn't gotten off to such a rocky start. Of course, this is the morning Charlie decides to sleep late - not Saturday or Sunday like I wanted to - but today. So, I had to wake him up finally so he could get breakfast and some clothes on and we could get moving. Well, he was cranky about being woke up. So, when it was time to take his pill, which he normally just pops in his mouth and chews it up, he decided he did not want to and I wasn't going to make him. Well, as I am "encouraging" the pill into his mouth he decides to gag on it until he vomits on everything and everyone in his approximate area - including Mom who is dressed for work. That was pleasant. Don't get the wrong idea, I wasn't shoving it down his throat or anything. Really, I wasn't getting past his tightly clinched teeth. This is why I am clear it was a "decision" to gag himself, not a reflex.
"Toddler behavior"! Nevertheless, we get cleaned up and go for the second half of the pill. Pop it in and chew, just like always! Then it is on to getting dressed (the first time for Charlie, the second for me).

I had put some of Charlie's pictures in frames to take to my office. At last count there are five there now. It is great to be able to take a look at his sweet face, especially in the midst of dealing with other things in the course of the day. The day with Uncle Johnny, Aunt Aurea and Ava went well and he was all smiles when I picked him up this evening. After dinner we had a bath...which consisted of the normal good times (he loves the bathtub) as well as some other more personal bodily functions. Lets just say, there is nothing quite as intimate as the relationship between mother and son. I never knew I could develop that level of intimacy, it is encouraging to know that I can. :)

After bath time it is off to bed. Bedtime is great! Sometimes we read a book before bed, but always a kiss and a "nite-nite," before he crys just enough to let me know he loves me a lot, then gets settled and calls it a night.

Overall the first day back to work went well. Charlie seems to be secure in the fact that I am always going to come and get him, whether we are separated for the day, or only for an hour during church. We are always so happy to see each other, whether it has been 8 hours or 1. Reunion is reason for celebration.

Almost two weeks home...

2007-04-20T16:39:00.000-05:00

Friday before the two week mark...and the changes are everywhere. Who knew it would be so hard to begin to think about work again? I don't know when I will get the laundry done, but it will have to be soon, as both Charlie and I are running out of clean things to wear. I did do some laundry when I got home, but it hasn't made its way out of the garage (where the washer and dryer are located) to the closet and/or chest. So, each morning I sneak out of bed before Charlie wakes up, grab a quick shower and run to the garage to get dressed. Fortunately for the neighborhood, I do that before taking Maui out for his morning constitutional in the backyard.

The challenges are many, my life has changed forever. I REALLY think I know what that means now.

This week did not start out so great. It was the visit to the pediatrician's office on Monday. She is a highly recommended doctor, but seemed a bit astounded that I didn't know "was he carried to full term?" "do you know if he had colic as a baby?" The paper "history and physical" was a bit scant by standard terms. So, we finally agreed that starting from the beginning, learning what there was to know from the child who was there with us was the way to go. First thing on the agenda, lets talk about nutrition needs. "PediaSure, once a day, got it!" Second thing on the agenda, lets see what his blood work tells us. "Prescription for lab work, ok!" Third thing on the agenda, lets see what his stool sample tells us. "Here is the stool sample doctor!" Fourth thing on the agenda, immunizations!!! "The nurse will be in with the 5 we will start with," she says so calmly.

Those 5 immunization shots bonded Charlie and I for life!! He was screaming and I was crying my eyes out, trying to be comforting and supportive. As soon as the shots stopped, his crying stopped, mine was not quite finished. As I was holding him and trying to clean up my face, he put his hand on my back and patted me. Assuring me that he had survived and I just might too. It was quite a moment.

The next day was a day at home, feeling a bit droopy from all of the shots, but nothing some Children's Tylenol couldn't handle. We were back in business by Wednesday.

I have to say, who knew that PediaSure (vanilla) would be such a hit. It is what gets Charlie out of bed in the morning. He really looks forward to sucking back that nutrition in a bottle.

Today, Friday, I spent some time in the office, after going to the "picture people" for some portraits of Charlie and his cousin Ava. They are spectacular I must say.

It is hard to get my mind back on work, but alas it must be done.

When I checked the e-mail at work there was one there from a friend, I think she got it from Dr. Pearson who was part of the mission team from my church who were in Ethiopia when we were there. It is officially my "picture of the day" taken the third day Charlie and I had known each other. Here it is...love it!

a couple of pictures

2007-04-15T06:56:00.000-05:00

I got some pictures from Geoff, one of the guys from the College Park Baptist mission team that were in Ethiopia when we were there. Here are a few pics from the night Charlie met some of his new friends.

He is so happy to see them!

Here is the gang....you can see that Holli is looking good in her traditional Ethiopian dress.

Charlie and Geoff - - new play mates!

I just love this picture!!

Week One...and counting...

2007-04-12T21:03:00.000-05:00

It is Thursday of our first week at home. Things are going pretty well. Charlie continues to sleep through the night, except for one night when he woke up and wouldn't be settled unless he was laying on my chest with both hands on my face. We did that for about an hour and a half until he was comfortable enough to move beside me in my bed for the remaining couple hours of the morning. His bed is right next to mine in the bedroom. I am so glad that I decided to keep him in my room for the time being. I want to make sure that if he wakes up at night, he knows I am going to be right there.

He is now, these five days later, a much more hearty eater, waking up hungry, getting hungry at predictable increments throughout the day. He gets so excited when we are headed for the high chair in the kitchen. :) His "off" switch when it comes to food seems to be broken, so I am just giving him what he needs, and filling in his wants with fruit snacks - he really likes bananas and grapes.

Today Charlie went next door to play with his cousin Ava. They got along fine and are going to be something to see as they grow up together. They looked like they were plotting some kind of "takeover" as they were cruising around the house on all four, trucking from place to place and toy to toy with real purpose. Charlie is very friendly, just as they told me the day we met. He especially loves to be around other children. I suppose I will let him go to the nursery this week at church, really I am sure it is more of an issue for me than it is for him. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and he stayed with Mimi and Papaw for those couple of hours, and did great. So, I feel pretty sure that a room full of children will be fun for him for the hour I am in church.

Several people have asked me to post pictures from the trip. I will as I get more of them. The reality is that most of the pictures were taken on my sister's camera. She has sent me this one, which is from the day we (Charlie and I) met in Addis. We were sitting on the front porch of the foster care center. Charlie was hesitant, but found a snuggle spot to rest his head....it is still one of his favorite spots....and mine.

We Are Home

2007-04-09T05:40:00.000-05:00

WOW! Florida has never felt so good!

Actually, Rome felt kind of good and Washington DC even better. After the long flight from Addis to Dulles - where I never enjoyed watching the overhead screen display showing where we are in the world as I did the last couple of hours of our flight - we are finally home. When the nose of the animated airplane on that display was touching places like Portland, Maine I was energized and excited to be "home".

We landed in Washington, DC on Saturday morning and saw SNOW on the ground. The cold but fresh air snuck in around the plane and the jetway as we headed for customs. It felt so good to have fresh air in my lungs. Charlie was a real trooper during that marathon flight.
(Note: For those of you who may be headed on that path in the near future may I recommend that when booking your Ethiopian Air flight home you request (at the time of booking) row 11 or 14 for your return flight. Those are bulkhead seats on the plane and come equipped with basinettes for the baby. This will give baby an actual place to lay down and sleep while flying, also leaving your arms free to move. We requested those seats when we arrived, but because they were not reserved at the time of booking and the flight was FULL, they would not allow the change. There were lots of babies coming to their homes on the flight and unfortunately, I only saw one family that was able to take advantage of the basinettes. Believe me, 12-14 hours into the flight, when neither Charlie or I could get very comfortable, I was not having pleasant thoughts about the people in those seats.)

Nevertheless, we made it. Got off the plane and went through customs and immigration. We first delivered ourselves and the hermetically sealed envelope Belay/Abi gave us to the first customs agent, then picked up the luggage, and had an immigration "recheck" where they take a second look at the papers and keep them. They handed me back Charlie's passport and said, "welcome home, you are all set." I almost cried, grabbed the luggage and headed for the exit. We got into the Dulles airport, found the United check-in counter and because God is gracious and benevolent were able to get on a 12:00 noon flight to Orlando. This gift of grace saved us a 6-hour layover in Dulles. The flight from Dulles to Orlando, which is about 2 hours, was very empty. So Charlie and I got in the row in front of Suzy and Holli, snuggled up by the window and watched and giggled as we took off for home. Charlie and I slept most of the flight home.
There was a caravan of family to meet us at the airport. John, Lewis and Rachel made a mad dash for their Mom/Wife - and she for them. Mom, Dad, Birt, Johnny, Aurea, Ava and even Ernie were there. Donna, Devin and Lucy came in shortly to snatch up Holli. There were plenty of hugs and smiles all around. This is the way my family "takes it slow" in welcoming Charlie home. He held on tight to me, but immediately warmed up to the smaller cousins. He is so comfortable with kids, very social with them. So when they wanted their first looks, he smiled and waved and welcomed them.

We went by Mom and Dad's house, while waiting for the luggage to arrive from our scheduled flight. And the kids, Charlie included, were playing and having fun together.

When we (Charlie and I) got to our house it wasn't long before bedtime and Charlie and I were both ready. Moom,Dad, Johnny and Aurea had arranged for someone to come in and clean the house before we arrived. It smelled so fresh and looked so good. What a great gift. Charlie slept for about 11 hours. As usual he woke up thirsty and hungry on Easter morning. We got ready and went to church, where we spent most of the time in the vestibule, because Charlie is a big talker and he was feeling very energized from the long nights rest. It was so quiet, we both slept like stones. No morning prayers blaring at sunrise, no goats going to market or big trucks rolling past as the sun rose. Just quiet. It was a good day of worship with family and church. Rachel, Suzy's daughter, joined the church Easter Sunday and will be baptized in a few weeks. There are people from church, who I don't really know, who were eager to celebrate Charlie's arrival. He does fine as long as he is holding onto me. He was royally welcomed into our church on Sunday, I know he will enjoy growing there. What very loving people.

We have now shared two full days of family celebration and are ready for our family routine.

Charlie is pretty clear about his schedule already, he goes to bed about 9pm - waking around 7:30 - whether in Ethiopia or in Florida - he has a short nap in the morning, usually between 11 and 12 and one in the afternoon about 3. He loves to play and is a bit clingy to me, which is ok. I am a bit clingy to him too. He is a strong-willed child, with an independent streak, but adapts well and is flexible. He is a ham for the camera and has teeth coming in like gang busters! Last count there are six on their way in. But, be careful not to stick your finger in there to feel for them, he already knows how to use the six that he is accustomed to!

He is an absolute jewel, a gift beyond description. He has adjusted to his new diet, so now Mom can think of thinks other than "poop". He is already making progress on his initiative to pull up and take steps. I keep reminding myself of something that was repeated over and over in one of the books I read prior to adoption, that is that I should measure him by his own progress not in comparison to other children. When I do that - he is progressing by leaps and bounds already. What a guy! He is beginning to practice some English, "wa" for water, for example. He learned Suzy's name while we were in Ethiopia, so he calls her when he sees her. He kept a good eye on her in customs. We have some doctor's appointments to make and we will be on our way. Baby Einstein is warming up in the DVD player! :)

We are working on the relationship between my jealous dog Maui and Charlie. Maui is trying hard to get used to having someone else as my priority. Charlie just giggles at him, except when he barks, then he gets a little startled and looks for me. So far they are getting along just fine.
I haven't downloaded the pictures off my camera yet, but hope to in the next couple of days.

Boy oh boy, does it feel good to be home!

We are at the airport in Ethiopia.

2007-04-06T13:10:00.000-05:00

We are at the airport in Ethiopia and are ready to start the long trip home. There is a lot of check in, checking of ID's, and exiting paperwork. We didn't get the seats we were hoping for, but I think we'll do just fine. It is about 8 pm here and our flight leaves at 9:30. We have decided to try and stay awake until we leave Rome with the attempt to get our bodies closer to the EDT schedule.
Charlie is doing well. He hasn't had diarrhea (sp?) the last two days so Ramona is feeling hopeful that she (we) can keep him alive until we arrive home. He was very well behaved as we did all the check-in and waved bye-bye to the Gladney rep and our driver as they saw us off here at the airport. It was quite a change because the Gladney rep, Belay, was his best friend and Charlie would always go to him and say Bye-bye to Ramona, so it was refreshing to have it the other way.
I am really missing all of you and the USA. We never figured out how to eat three meals a day. Ramona and I feel that our pants have gotten a lot baggier since we left, and I would swear that my ankles are thinner, we'll see. Yesterday and today, our only meal was 1/2 of an egg sandwich, and some french fries. Holli is fasting today for good Friday. It took some deciding as to whether she would fast on Ethiopian time or EDT, she opted for local time.
We will call you when we get to D. C. They have checked our luggage all the way through to Orlando, so perhaps we will go through customs in Orlando, it is unclear to us at this time. We will know more when we get to the U.S.

This afternoon was our embassy appiontment.

2007-04-04T09:40:00.000-05:00

Today is Wednesday. This afternoon was our embassy appointment. We went there got frisked by the American Embassy guards a couple of times, I guess we appeared questionable. But, within a short wait, looking at photos of Dick Cheney, George W, and Condoleeza (in that order on the wall) they called for the "Reynolds Family to Window 4". Charlie and I approached and were greeted by a very friendly agent of the embassy. In a flash Belay, from Gladney was at my shoulder. I was sworn in and in a matter of minutes the passport, which was already prepared was ready to have a visa put in it. There were a couple of questions for me, but nothing I couldn't answer. Belay will pick up the passport with visa tomorrow and bring it to me. It was so smoothly done. I know it was because Belay and others here working for Gladney did all of the advance work. The embassy agent stamped the last form and looked at me and smiled, offering congratulations! What a relief. The security guards were much nicer as we vacated the embassy! :) (really they were all nice, very conscientious, it just felt strange)

After finishing there we went back to the orphanage where Charlie lived before going to the Gladney Foster Care Center. We had been there earlier but Charlie was sleeping and I had stayed in the car. The caretakers there sent a message that they wanted to see Charlie before he left, so we chose today to return. Charlie was friendly to everyone, but didn't let anyone hold him or take him from me except the guard at the gate. A man!

Tuesday Charlie and I spent most of the day at home while Suzy and Holli went to the Cathedral where Haile Salasie and wife are entombed, and to the Ethiopia museum to see the remains of the oldest living upright walker, found in Northern Ethiopia. They call her "Lucy". Suzy and Holli also got in some additional shopping. Charlie has been "adjusting" to a change in his diet. Mom is "adjusting" as well. I think we are beginning to get something worked out. I am usually encouraged by the middle of the day (now) and plunged back into discouragement either sometime during the night or just after we wake up.
Thursday we are planning to go and say good-bye to a friend at the Korean Hospital (MCM) and then do whatever last minute sorts of things we want to get done. The plane leaves on Friday night so we will spend most of that day making sure we are ready to go and trying to make sure that Charlie gets his naps.

It has been so amazing to be here and meet Charlie, and for him to begin to recognize me as his mother. He will go to other people, mostly men - Holli and Suzy, but often times chooses to come back to me, especially if he is hungry or sleepy. He says "mama" but it is not clear to me if he is calling me that or saying something else in Amharic.

We (well, I should say Suzy and I) are eager to get home. Holli seems to want to stay. She told us today that she is planning to learn to cook injera....Suzy and I requested she not bring it to family dinners when she learns. As we were driving today she asked the driver how to pick out a good goat - so I assume she has some dinner plans. :)

We probably won't send any e-mails before we leave. Thanks for everyone's prayers for this trip. It has gone very smoothly so far and we are praying for a relatively nice trip home.

By the way, Go Gators! Has Billy Donovan announced his move to Kentucky yet??

I am glad you all got to see him!

2007-03-31T20:17:00.000-05:00

It is Saturday, we ran into Geoff today at a store and he told us he was able to send you the pictures. I am glad you all got to see him. We have a calling card like thing that we can use for the internet at the Hilton, so we only get here from time to time and only for a few minutes.
Charlie is doing good. He poops a lot. I guess that it good, but it sure is messy and smelly. He is funny and makes very funny faces. He is very friendly and really prefers men to women, so I hope people won't be offended if at first he mainly wants to go to the men in the family. At the same time we ran into Geoff today Deji was there. He went right to Deji and cried when he had to come back to me. There are some men who took care of him and played with him and so he feels really fondly toward men. He has this little head nod thing he does to taxi drivers and guys on the side of the street when we are riding around. It is like saying hello with his head in a very cool way.
Ethiopia is about the same, a lot more construction here now than the last time. We have met a family from San Francisco area who came the day after we did to pick up their little 8 month old daughter. She is really cute. We went to lunch with them and Abby and Ryan from Gladney, as well as visited the three orphanages that Gladney works with here. The orphanage where Charlie stayed was the second we visited. He had fallen asleep so I sat in the car while Holli and Suzy went it. They were impressed with all of the care there. They had toys and puzzles for the children to play with and all of the children there seemed to have been doing well. I wouldn't have guessed on such a good report from my view outside, it is in a very simple part of town, with very simple surroundings. On the way to our next destination we noticed a skeleton of a goat skull, with horns and all. It looked like something from a halloween season movie, just laying there on the side of the road.
We are meeting the people from Orlando at three today and then going to eat Ethiopian food. Holli is jazzed about that. She has been very eager to have a taste of roasted goat on fermented bread! :)
Our drivers take good care of us and get us from here to there very creatively. They accompany us when they feel like we are going someplace where they might be of assistance, it feels safer that way.

We love you and miss you all.
Ramona

We made it to Ethiopia!!

2007-03-28T14:21:00.000-05:00

Hi all,
We made it to Ethiopia after a very long flight, that was full of people going home and a couple of people like us who were coming to meet the next member of the family. We got to Orlando and a helpful guy at the United counter who reminded us that it is $50 for every bag that is over 50 pounds. So, we spent some time redistributing and off we went.

Holli spent the better part of the flight using Suzy as a pillow. Suzy was most gracious. When we got to Addis, we met Ryan from Gladney and much to our surprise and delight in came all of the people from Orlando who are here on mission trip. It was so wonderful to see some familiar faces after seeing so many unfamiliar ones.

Ryan delivered us and all of our less than 50 pound baggage to the apartment, which is on the fourth floor of a building with long sets of stairs. Between the 24 hour trip and the lack of sleep and the altitude, we were so very happy to have help from the folks at Gladney to get us into the apartment. It is very nice and the beds felt very good.

We slept in this mornig and were then picked up by a driver to take us the care house where we met several other couples who are here to meet their baby. Of course, we think Abenet (Charlie) is the cutest. It took him some time but he is comfortable with me and his aunt and cousin so we are taking him home with us tonight. We all went out for lunch where Abenet (Charlie) filled himself with gnocci, seems he has a little Italian in him somewhere, along with plenty of water. Then he filled his diaper which was a real treat, because we really didn't plan to bring him home with us today - yep we didn't bring the diapers. But after some quick exchange from $$ to birr and a stop at a little shop adjacent to the Hilton hotel, where the internet cafe is and where we had to come to confirm our return tickets, he has a clean diaper and a damp but relatively clean shirt.

We are headed back to the apartment for some rest and bonding!

Will write more when able...

Packing...making a list and checking and checking...

2007-03-24T14:21:00.000-05:00

It is Saturday, we leave for Addis on Monday.

Tickets for flight - check
Itinerary - check
Passports/visas - check
Copies of passports/visa/intinerary for family - check
Immigration paperwork for Charlie - check
Money - check
Clothes - check
Diapers - check
Shoes - check
Dog taken care of - check
camera - check
video camera - check
Electical Adapter/Converter - check
batteries - check
Cheerios - check

I think everything that has been on a list is now packed or ready to be packed. The dog has been groomed so he will be clean and fresh smelling while I am away. Now, to cleaning the house, my least favorite of all things on earth to do.

All of Charlie's things are in one piece of luggage. Honestly, his "gear" takes up more room than his tiny little clothes and cute itty shoes. I was out getting me some sneakers the other day for this trip and found the cutest little Nike sandals for Charlie. They have nice rubber soles and what appears to be wetsuit material across the top. Should make a nice little cushion for his just learning to walk feet. :) I am just guessing on his size, well it is an informed guess based on information from my sister and sister-in-law who are the "baby experts" who have been helping me shop.

Last night I went with my parents to my aunt and uncle's winter home near the beach about an hour from here. They along with my other aunt and uncle were there enjoying delicious "Lake Michigan" perch. It is a special treat that we enjoy when Uncle Charles and Aunt Mary come down for the winter. It was nice to be with all of them and talk about my brother's upcoming (August) wedding and other family events. I found myself sitting there thinking about how my son will quickly become a part of this family, what will he think when for the first time he encounters so many people - most of them talking about something or the other. All the hugging, kissing, and sharing old stories. We talked some about memories of my maternal grandparents - too bad they won't get to meet Charlie - they would have loved having him here. He will know them, though. As he will his other great-grandparents. There are plenty of stories to tell about his Kentucky/Florida family.

Speaking of Kentucky family, Charlie doesn't yet have a basketball. That won't last long! It is "March Madness" the season when all Kentuckians' hearts begin to beat just a bit faster as good college basketball is easy to find, and traditionally much of it is being played by UK. Not the case this year, but there is a new era about to begin at UK and so 'hope springs...' for future "March Madness" to bring back the glory! Out of respect for my current home and my nephew - who is a HUGE Univ. of Florida GATOR - they are playing pretty well. That Butler game was a little too close, but the Gators are still in there so we can cheer for them - an SEC team at least!

Hope to have word pretty soon after we arrive in Ethiopia and make sure that everyone hears of our safe arrival. Maybe sometime on Wednesday we will find a place to get some internet time and be able to drop a message and perhaps a picture or two.

Showers of Blessings

2007-03-18T17:08:00.000-05:00

This has been the week of showers - showers of blessings!
Wednesday of this week my coworkers held a semi-surprise shower in our office. Their generosity was tremendous, equipping my new family with a real cool car seat - with sippy cup holders! and a soft headrest for those long boring rides in Orlando traffic. In addition to that great gift they gave us the whole bed set - bed, mattress and bedding. WOW!
Cute huh?

On Saturday was the shower from friends and family at church. Now Charlie has plenty to wear, some great toys (love LeapFrog), puzzles, books, crayons and a big pad to color on, all sorts of brain stimulation (including Baby Einstein).

I came home on Saturday evening just humbled and overwhelmed by the pouring out of love that people who are very dear to me have showered on my new son. We are one blessed and lucky family.

Since then, I have been un-packaging and putting away all the goodies so that I can start packing. It is one week from tomorrow that I fly to Ethiopia to bring Charlie home. As my mind races and the list of people I have to call to make sure all of the arrangements are made for him when we return (the list for Monday is getting quite long), each time I think of the moment that I will actually see him and hear him, I am dissolved to tears.

My friend who adopted through Gladney from China told me today that there is just something holy and special about that moment. "You just know that God brought the two of you together forever" is what she said. Well, that and, "don't forget to take Cherrios with you, they saved our life!"

I could never say in words how much I appreciate all of the kindness and generosity that has been shared with us this week. What love, what caring, what great people are in my life. Thank you so much!

One great part about the timing of the trip - even though it came so suddenly in many ways, is that it coincides with the return trip of the medical mission team from my church that took me to Ethiopia for the first time last year. When I returned from that trip I had decided that adoption as a single mother was more than I could do. God does appreciate irony! It was my mom however, who said to me when I was leaving last year that she thought I would meet her next grandchild there...I was open to that, but had "decided" that wouldn't be the case. I am so happy that I am not the one who has the final say on my decisions. :)

We visited an orphanage for children with HIV while in Ethiopia last year. One of the doctors on that trip is returning to spend more time there this year. There were more than 400 children in that orphanage, sponsored by the Sisters of Charity. Spectacular children full of life. But, of all the children I encountered the one I wonder and think about most from last year is a little girl, maybe 2, who was living in a kebellah (a city district) we ("Auntie Merrie" & I) visited as we were doing home visits with a social worker who monitors an HIV community based program led by SIM. As we talked to mom inside this little one sat outside the door on the "stoop" (the dirt covered rocks) chatting with those who would pass curiously wondering about the white people inside her home. She was like a little 2 year old woman. Already growing up quickly.

I am very happy that many of the people with whom I first encountered the people and place of Ethiopia will be there to share in this time. It was fun saying to them this morning "I will see you there!"

Today I became a Mom

2007-03-16T18:51:00.000-05:00

Here is the story of my last two days.

Thursday - I called Gladney "just to check" to see if we had a court date yet, because the court date determines when I will go to Ethiopia to pick up my son. (I am there a week or so after the court date to take care of the immigration issues, get to know Charlie, etc. For a while I thought I had to be there for the court but found out that they want me there afterward, after it is all official and there is nothing to do paperwork wise except the US gov't part.) My adoption coordinator, Mary, after commenting on my psychic connection to my whole adoption process, tells me that the courts had my paperwork and were requesting one more document that would be delivered to them the following day (today- Friday). Mary tells me that when the court gets that form the date will be set, likely "next week or sooner." Both of which seem really fast, but sooner from today is Friday - tomorrow (today). We both share a hearty giggle and then Mary tells me I should expect to hear from her on Friday (today).

Friday - I come into my office and while I am tempted to call Mary at 8:00 a.m. when I get settled into my office for the morning, I know it is only 7:00 a.m. in Ft. Worth at Gladney and so it won't do me much good to be so eager. Not even very dedicated adoption workers should be expected to be at work at 7:00 a.m. I continue on with my day, interviewing students for the summer program, trying to throw waters on fires that start here and there, reviewing payroll information so that everyone is getting paid on time this pay period. Then about 2:00 p.m. (my time), as I am coming back into the office from getting a cup of coffee, I hear my cell phone on its last ring. Much to my delight I see it is from Mary, in Ft. Worth. She has called to tell me that the paper was delivered to the court today and the court approved the adoption! Congratulations Ramona, you are legally a mother!!!

No setting of the court date, today WAS the court date. The courts just needed that last piece of paperwork and all is approved.

I confirmed the name of the travel agent, get the number for the benefits department so I can change my insurance coverage to include Charlie, and start making phone calls - to Mom, Dad, Suzy...Mom is taking care of calls to everyone else, while I am getting things going with the travel agent.

The conversation with the travel agent, who is very helpful, is an odd one. The date we were planning to travel, is completely booked. WHAT!! The travel agent said, "well, its spring break." After my brief pause, I said, "and everyone is going to Ethiopia?" "Really?" Anyway, we are probably going to have to be in Ethiopia a little longer than planned, just because of the jammed full airplanes!?! But Ethiopia is beautiful (as you can see) and it will be great to be there. So, ok.

Now, I have a week and a couple of days to get the bed put together, clean the house, and pack. My mind has just been racing - - I am a mother now! See that face, I have to get him ready for college!!

It seems like waiting for so long - - then WOW! You are a Mom, Ramona! All at once - hadn't even had a drink of that coffee yet!

Now I am just all thoughts, smiles and tears...I am overwhelmed each time I think of the first time I will see his face in person, touch his little body and hold him.

My First Blog

2007-03-10T14:49:00.000-05:00

I have been reading blogs from families who are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia, some who are farther along in their process than I, and others who are a little behind or just beginning. All have been encouraging to me, have helped me to think of things I had not, and have participatd in my excitement. I hope my sharing of my experience will provide the same kinds of encouragment for others.
So, you can see, my son! I think he is beautiful. My referral came about 2 weeks ago and now I await a court date. I thought waiting for a referral was hard, this is harder. I got an update on him from Gladney's caretakers in Ethiopia -which I was thrilled with! Hearing that he is better at walking, jabbering in his own language (neither Amharic or English) gave me "smiles and giggles" all day long. But also reminded me of how much my heart wants to be the one who is holding his finger while he toddles. I am so grateful for the caretakers who are interested and involved in his development. Such a mix of feelings.
About my son - he is 18.5 months old, Charles Solomon Abenet, he has such bright eyes. He has been in Gladney's care since January. He "walks with some help and jabbers a lot". As I told Mary at Gladney, he will fit right in with my family - we all like to jabber!
Yesterday I got my younger sister's and my niece's passports back from getting their travel visas for our trip to Ethiopia. My younger sister has two children, so she is going to help me with my introduction to mothering and my 16 year old niece - well I want her to go to Ethiopia with me, and since last year's trip to NYC she is loving to travel, so she is going along as well. She is in charge of pictures/videos, etc. Her HS photography class is going to come in handy.
Next week is the week of "showers". Both friends from work and friends/family from church are honoring me with a shower in the next 7 days. My son is so lucky - he has no idea how many people have been and are praying for him, and his mother! (Probably more for his mother!) :)
The referral came just moments before the shower invitations went out, and before I agreed to register at "babies r us" or "Target", which was great, because then we all knew the age and gender, etc. The referral makes it all so much more real.
I had requested either gender, and since I was 41 at the time of my approval and that my paperwork was being processed in Ethiopia, we knew he would be at least 1 year old. So, it was until the moment of the referral to have a clearer view of these things.
(May I take a moment to share my relief at reading in the reports I received that he was already drinking from a cup - I had "browsed" the bottles choices available, and was frankly overwhelmed with how to determine which kind of bottle was "right". Something like 45 choices of bottles came up on the "babies r us" website, some with multiple nipple choices. Honestly, for a middle-aged, first time mother to have that many options for a decision like which bottle will we use, was overwhelming and not altogether encouraging!)
I hope to be able to continue posting to this blog, for family, friends and others in the adoption process, to be able to keep up with my process. It is my hope that we will be able to update it with news and photos while in Ethiopia - my niece will probably help with the technology aspects of that too!
With a group from my church I was able to visit Ethiopia last year at about this time. From my way of thinking my participation in that primarily medical/agricultural development focused trip was a bit of a fluke. I stand in constant amazement and extraordinary gratitude however, to God and so many people who are family and friends, that now, almost exactly one year later, I will be returning to meet and bring home my son.
I will keep you "posted"!